Baxter adores the idea of my disorderly lusting, it's a solution for him, he can absolve himself from all sin by blaming me. He didn't like it, he was just doing as he was told, and it'll be I who enters Hades with an open mind.
It's odd and rather sweet that a substantial abdominal aortic aneurysm, a well photographed and much fondled giant of his kind, takes comfort from my attempts to emulate a chaotically entropic universe by maintaining a clock-like disciplined practice of concupiscence in an attempt to encourage Anti-Calvinist habits in others. The reality is of course, I should have gone all the way back to the errors our species made when the first Cock Robin picked up a stick and doodled an IOU into a clay tablet which accidentally got kiln fired when my creditors treasure house burned down and is now hidden away in a Dutch Museum.
We people in the Western Tradition do rather require the convictions of an End of Times to maintain a semblance of hope, and lo, please, pretty please show me the Western Mind that doesn't whisper the sweet nothings of : "Yes, it's just a feeling, but I definitely do think I go somewhere very nice when I die."
We have a damnation that convicts us at birth, it comes down the escalator spouting hatred unless we agree to behave thusly. Death is a blessed release. Here the Question Why is easily answered : "So we can escape the misery we have made for ourselves." As they say, the Apocalypse is the ultimate wet dream, it's the moment we reach the end of the line and stop "progressing."
It wasn't just Augustine or Calvin!! History is replete with goody-goody convictions drilled into us Westerners by the very best universities that saw a flow of inevitability, a predestination, which totally robbed us of our agency and handed the responsibility over to the Big One. Even bloody Hegel, and to a certain extent Kant saw the predestination of our species, none of it our choice. Hegel envisioned his phenomenology of spirit as a preordained process. The Owl of Minerva, Hegel quipped, spreads its wings only with the falling of the dusk. He meant we only understand reality and history when it's finished and too late to do anything about.
I hope you too find this as deeply offensive as Hannah Arendt did. She saw these holy trinity structures of thinking as a wide open route map for the malevolent minds that claim to understand the direction of history and this special, unique understanding justifying their use if violence today for a Synthesis tomorrow.
Anyway, and this is very, very interesting for anyone still interested in the moods of The Trinity. In 2016 Pope Francis elevated Saint Mary Magdalene's feast day to the same status as that of boy saints. For a gal who had struggled with Seven Demons, each demon representing one of the Seven Deadly Sins, until she met Jesus who wanted her to be an Apostle to the Apostles, follow him around and financially care for her so she could assist him with his ministry, even if it does sound as though Jesus adopted her as a corporate welfare officer, really does sound something like a Pope breaking a glass ceiling for someone who might have enjoyed life.
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